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The first essay is devoted to gender inequality in modern societies and its reasons. The best part of the essay is the definitions provided and a short history of societys development that show the reasons for inequality. The thesis statement is clear and includes contradictive opinions, which are discussed further in the paper. The most significant evidence that supports the statement is in the first and the second paragraphs on page 4 because it provides some surveys which prove inequality in the professional and academic spheres. The history paragraph can be most improved to show the changes the society has in terms of mens and womens roles in various spheres of life. Another revision that can be done is adding some statistics of womens employment, differences between mens and womens salaries, as well as lack of intellectual differences. Finally, as the essay is devoted to the reasons for gender inequality, some historical facts can be added to address the issue, for instance, laws or regulations, traditions, and customs worldwide. There are a few formatting errors in the citations: there are full stops before brackets after the quotes.
The second essay is about effective ways to improve submarines attacks. However, there is no title of the paper, which makes it challenging to understand the essays topic. The best parts of the essay are as follows: statistics on the reduction of sailors, and medical reasons that influence work practices in the Navy. The thesis statement itself is clear; however, it already includes some conclusions, which can be improved by providing some solutions that can be addressed to develop the Submarine Attacks significantly. The most compelling evidence is in the last paragraph, which includes both the reasons for the Navys current state and the possible solutions. The paragraphs that need the most revision are the introduction and the conclusion that is absent at all. The author should consider the essays structure to make it more transparent for the reader; to be more specific, the arrangement of the essays problems: reasons, impact, and possible solutions of the issue. Eventually, there are quite a few errors: extra or lack of space and commas between words/sentences, and indefinite articles with plural nous. Finally, references must be on a separate page.
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